alone

dreaming

2009-12-15T00:16:00.001+08:00

Can i sleep my way, dreaming along doing nothing and don't give a damn to anything all days? Feels so good to go back to sleep and dream whenever im half awake, hah!. Dreams feel so REALITY but not.

September and October

2009-11-15T23:37:00.004+08:00

Its november, haven't been update since september.

Finally its my turn to ORDed that month. Its a terrible month of all. Uncle had passed away due to final stage cancer. It was so sad to see everybody faces, yet putting trying to hang their smiles over it. Lifes still carry on for everybody. =)

And yet i still happily ORD, i miss everybody, the talk cock session, the way how we keep slacking, playing table tennis, helping each other cover ass. I MISS THEM! ^^

After ORD i have to keep trying very hard to find a job while slacking very hard too untill i met my finacial difficulties. Jobs are hard to find nowadays:( Until October than i manage to get one, at Ubi doing engineer in security system, basically get the contractor to do the installation and make sure the systems is up smoothly.

Met up Annnee Qiuwen they all at Desmond, Rachel and Adrain birthday in October. Also attended Yvonne birthday parties too. Nowadays i am so bored of attending friends birthday party, its really TOO MUCH! AND I JUST CAME BACK FROM ROSANNE PARTY.

I wanna change my bike to a weekend car, if possible since dad need one and i need one during weekend too. During weekday the car is parked the whole week since i drive a van to work and dad rides my bike to work. But when the thoughts that i need alot of money for my further studies, i'm so upset la!

I miss Jasney so much.
But i guess its so impossible :((

August

2009-09-23T05:12:00.001+08:00

August highlights was NDP. Spending the nights with ruiting they all, having a nice dinner at park mall. And ktv sessions after that. Jasney and Rosanne was there too, everyones was awkward like a strangers just because we didnt really catch up since primary school times.

The very next day, we went for short gateaway, pulau ubin. Cycling, makes new friends there especially girls LOLS, met old friends there too. Anyway, have alot of funs there.

meetup jasney :)

2009-09-05T00:02:00.002+08:00

an interesting post from my little friend :)

" just before i went for HGF dinner, i went to catch a movie with RZ (eric) at Bishan junction 8...................................................................................

idk, but i think th problem lies in me. i felt so awakened throughout th whole process. its just felt so miracle. since primary school till now, 12-21, 9 years in between. where we dont really talk in primary school, didnt even contact after graduation from primary school; needless to say during secondary school, but somehow found another 9 years later. everythg just so happening and unpredictable. aint it(?) "

formula to happiness

2009-08-16T16:13:00.002+08:00

Yoz, for the month of July.
Every weekend was a birthday parties, there is wen, del, mine, koonchee.
Everyone did well for their parties, and mine was so memorable.
Expenses for that month was TOO MUCH OVER. Glad its over.
The present i like most is the carton cans of coke light from ruiting & yvonne. Simple guy, simple needs.
Anyway i had finished it and i need it unlimited.

And yoz, for the first half of August.
i met up ruiting, yvonne and two more new friends, rosanne and jasney. We went KTV, its a little disappointed overall, hah!

Next day was a pulua ubin trip, went cycling there, with a bad sizzly weather, muddy path and our clothes are dirty all over.
Met a new girl call Emily Chia there, a sweet looking girl, nice to know her. And gotta ask her out one day:)
We also met our old friend working over there, it was a club, with prawnings, fishspa, etc. We had fun there, spend most our time relaxing at the club. We had seafood for dinner before we headed back home.

Yesterday went to Escape Theme Park. Freaking fun and uncomfortable because play until i wanna vomit, we played the pirate ship ALOT of TIMES.
We also went to the haunted house, very funny moment we have during there.

Recently spoken a little bit with vio, wanna meet her up one day too:)

july images of life

2009-07-19T04:25:00.001+08:00

recently finished celebrating my 21st birthday parties, quite a success in organising this little event because i recieved nice feedback! HAHA!

Time to start saving money and make more investments, and ORD soon lo!

fuking upset

2009-07-08T18:32:00.001+08:00

Sianz, recieve a birthday letter from TRAFFIC POLICE, saying that i speed on 1 jul 5.32pm. Fuking ridiculous, did i ride so fast? I end work at 5.30pm, and they caught me after 2 minutes! walao, like that how am i going to ride and drive, fucking upset la!

happy birthday srz

2009-07-07T21:03:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday SRZ!

Had a bad morning, was suppose to go for course but in the end cancel due to H1N1 in that camp and have to report to airbase. It was on my way to send my dad to work, so my boss called me! After all i went back to base with peace and shag tired look.

Mummy called me surprising, and i'm happy with the wishes she gave:)

First day of school in the evening and left after the breaks call, haha @.@

i wanna keep a doggy:)

images of life

2009-06-19T03:32:00.001+08:00

"We Got Married"
Its a interesting korean drama series that makes me keep watching non stop and not sleeping early. It's fun.

It was my first time for shopping Mustafa for 3 hour plus last week, from top to bottom, left to right of the shopping center. LOLS!

friends

2009-06-15T01:44:00.001+08:00

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
And as in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
'Tomorrow' I say! 'I will call on Tim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him.'
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
'Here's a telegram sir,' 'Tim died today.'
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

words of life

2009-06-12T02:31:00.001+08:00

i'm so tired. I just wanna rest and sleep in forever and never wake up ever again.

To feel success in adult working lifestyles wasn't that simple and easy. All along i was pursauded that education line was a good career. It was actually, but who understands? Able to further studies is for ones good, not to harm anyone else. Who will get it?

People tends to make more choices for themselves, but what other choices they still can have? Its either move forward or take one step backward.

Wasn't able to sleep tonight again. What's life now? I work to live, not live to work. Life in NS really kills alot of my time. Please help.

vas te faire encule

2009-06-09T03:56:00.001+08:00

vas te faire encule

weekends

2009-06-09T03:24:00.001+08:00

Went ice skating, and watched a freaking horror movie last sunday.

Met up qimei last saturday for lunch, she's pretty. Went to walk and shop around, ktv session too with a very cheap rates.

2009-06-04T01:54:00.002+08:00

Yes, i passed my Class 2A with ease on 2 June. But i felt abit upset for passing my TP so late because i hurt my eyes last month. :(
Everything would have move on smoothly if i went for my TP earlier.

3 June, my exam falls on this day, and i was late for it. I just don't want to wake up lo, keep snoozing the alarm and sleep. Until i woke up on time for exam, i immediately jumped out of my bed and chiong to to school like hell. I didn't really take this exam seriously, felt like wasting my time like fuck.

2009-05-31T23:58:00.004+08:00

Went prawning last midnight, had fun and scare to death too because i don't dare to touch the freaking prawns. We bbq there and eat those we caught. It was luck to caught so many, haha!

2009-05-25T03:03:00.003+08:00

Recently went to Mustafa to shop, realise the main road direction had changed, don't give a damn to the no turn left sign and i turned left into the wrong direction, haha. So i just quickly make a U-turn out.

I realise the rate of peoples reading here, using safari bowser are the highest among all. I guess i know who. Want try using RSS feed better? HA!

Its coming end of May, i'm so glad, because its was the stress among all since i was sick from the start of the month that i can't do any work. June will be the exam month, and my advance diploma is starting too. I'm gonna ORD soon, its time to find a good job, asking around.

2009-05-11T04:37:00.004+08:00

Finally after 2 weeks, i am mostly recovered from eyes infection. Its was a horrible experience, seeing doctor how he treated my eyes was so fucking painful, the troubles given to my family members, the pain that i always keep struggling the past 2 weeks, the blindness and vision blur.

This days i been struggling whether to sell and get a bigger bike, the studies for my futures, the load of financial matters is going extremely higher. May is the peak month that i encounter, don't know whether should i or not go for it. I'm so stress that i can't even sleep well for now so i decide to get off the bed to do something else. I played basketball, watch movies, out for walk, it dosen't seems to help to destress.

Been sick and didn't went to school for 2 weeks recently. Actually i'm not worry whether i can cope well in my studies for the next few months, as i am going to take up another course soon, and i have slow down the pace of studies for my current school, taking less one modules, longer time to complete it. Gonna concentrate on my second school in getting advance diploma cert. Actually a degree after my diploma, but finacial wise gotta consider carefully.

Another thing, thanks god that i met a nice friend, Desmond. Giving me so many opportunities, offers and chances, a nice guy. Although a lot of Desmond in my phone lists, the difference is so much among them, funny that every time have to make sure which desmond i'm contacting.

Recently i recieve a fucking stupid idiotic phone bill, so expensive due to data usage that i never know that i'm using, normally i always use the wireless of the phone to suft net. I made a complain, no choice, i give LANG LANG FACE, nb~

Lists to do,
Bike inspection
Renew insurance and road tax
School fees and courses
Plans for my birthday parties
PSP games
and shoppings :)

2009-04-21T01:00:00.004+08:00

Last Friday i fell so sick and terrible and went to see a doctor. Thanks ruiting alot for sending me to and back from TTSH in the middle of midnight, THANKS! She's a nice and sweet girl :)

its doesn't matter whether this last forever, let's us just enjoy this moments.

2009-04-13T22:49:00.002+08:00

Fell sick since last night, had a high fever this morning, so i didn't go for work today.

2009-04-06T22:13:00.001+08:00

Never felt so vex before, so many thinking, so many worries. I am so tired.

Wish she was all along by my side.

2009-03-10T23:16:00.001+08:00

TO-DO LISTS
~~1. Re-consider my course of studies and re-apply for Poly courses.~~ DECIDED
~~2. Repair my front brakes caliper(DUE)~~ DONE, fuking expensive CB!
~~3. Buy distilled water for coolant~~ ~~and refill the coolant too!~~DONE!
4. Change new oil seal for rear wheel(DUE)
~~5. Need to change brake pad, brake fluid~~DONE!
6. Repair harddisk
~~7. DIY spare CPU~~ Done
8. Change 1 X Lcd monitor
9. Sell away spare CPU
10. Decide the tatoos that i wanna engrave on
11. Complete my 2A license (PENDING)
12. Online Business research
~~13. Design out a birthday pictures(DUE)~~DONE
14. Change my blog template

2009-03-10T23:04:00.003+08:00

Learned that my application for this year JPAE was rejected, and i guess my past reservation has been voided. May consider study private, so i can finish up studies and join the workforce faster. If i still decide to apply for poly, i will take longer time to finish my studies.
Gotten consider what i actually wants. Saddened.

2009-02-22T23:58:00.001+08:00

Smokes too much, too late nowadays.

2009-02-22T13:20:00.002+08:00

If i were healthy, there will be no restriction and limitation on me.
Fuck you to hell! ):

2009-02-22T06:46:00.008+08:00

TO-DO LISTS
~~1. Re-consider my course of studies and re-apply for Poly courses.~~ DECIDED
~~2. Repair my front brakes caliper(DUE)~~ DONE, fuking expensive CB!
~~3. Buy distilled water for coolant~~ ~~and refill the coolant too!~~DONE!
4. Change new oil seal for rear wheel(DUE)
5. Need to change brake pad, brake fluid
6. Repair harddisk
~~7. DIY spare CPU~~ Done
8. Change 1 X Lcd monitor
9. Sell away spare CPU
10. Decide the tatoos that i wanna engrave on
11. Complete my 2A license
12. Online Business research
13. Design out a birthday pictures(DUE)
14. Change my blog template

One of my friends was so sad today, hope she be fine soon, ha!
Went to marina barrage, mosquitoes bleeding area super high, what a chill out area haha -.-

2009-02-18T21:55:00.003+08:00

Who will be there to help me if i'm get into accidents again?
I couldn't find out the answer and asked myself a very nice question.
:)

2009-02-18T00:53:00.002+08:00

ilu, cindy:)

2009-02-16T04:46:00.004+08:00

I'M SO HATE GAMBLING!!
&^%^$%#@!#$%^&*())*&^%$#

I'm so stress too.
:(
Needa spent my money wisely nowadays.

Went to 7-eleven to buy stuff. The cashier fuking stupid, i wanna paid thru credit card, he take and swap and told me cannot. Fuck la, in the end pay thru nets, why cant he in the first place tell me credit card not acceptance and still damn trying it. Fucking pek cek lo, still smile at me say cannot, IDIOTICS!

Yesterday went to watch LOOK FOR A STAR. Fucking cinema save electricity bills, so warm inside! Nice movie, and sad too. Yvonne asked me to touch her wet eyes, she watched till her tears flush out than i say WOW U SWEAT UNTIL LIDAT AH, haha!!

2009-02-13T01:39:00.001+08:00

RUITING if only you have realised.. says:
-.-
e. SRZ // Livelifelight, cokelight // work, study, sleep says:
...
RUITING if only you have realised.. says:
i know you still cant let go of cindy. take things easy and slowly ok? one step at a time. (: yv and me will pei you. (:
e. SRZ // Livelifelight, cokelight // work, study, sleep says:
....
e. SRZ // Livelifelight, cokelight // work, study, sleep says:
who said tt
e. SRZ // Livelifelight, cokelight // work, study, sleep says:
freak
RUITING if only you have realised.. says:
ME! (:
RUITING if only you have realised.. says:
can see, can feel.
RUITING if only you have realised.. says:
rrly.
e. SRZ // Livelifelight, cokelight // work, study, sleep says:
ur head la
RUITING if only you have realised.. says:
SRZ, dont fool me.
e. SRZ // Livelifelight, cokelight // work, study, sleep says:
im okay with myself !
e. SRZ // Livelifelight, cokelight // work, study, sleep says:
haha, anyway sweett for tt
RUITING if only you have realised.. says:
:D i can rrly rrly feel your misses for her. i am sorry if you cant get to sleep tonight bcos of wht i said.
RUITING if only you have realised.. says:
but well, don't cheng qiang ok.
RUITING if only you have realised.. says:
i know you have been suppressing your feelings. (:
e. SRZ // Livelifelight, cokelight // work, study, sleep says:
-.-
e. SRZ // Livelifelight, cokelight // work, study, sleep says:
wadever
e. SRZ // Livelifelight, cokelight // work, study, sleep says:
:D
RUITING if only you have realised.. says:
and you will go bonker someday.
RUITING if only you have realised.. says:
HEHEHEHEHEEHE.

2009-02-11T00:28:00.000+08:00

Feelings on border line.

2009-02-04T04:27:00.006+08:00

ISOMIA RECENTLY, unable to get back to sleep again, fuck la!
Another batch of friends going ORD this week, left me alone again. Well, i hate seeing friends ord and left, and i will miss Kenneth lim and Kenneth lai, both are nice friends to me.

Not bad, i realise this artpiece is still around when i was looking thru my documents, I LIKE THIS ONE. This is what i drew, scanned and edited.
My Work

'know that God sent me you'

2009-02-03T22:17:00.002+08:00

Well, forgotten to blog my achievements.
I was nominated and selected for Outstanding Servicemen of the Month of DECEMBER for my unit, wahaha!
Thanks to my boss.
:)

Recently, i have alot of things to do, alot of funs to have too. But times are always not enough for me to get enough rests, in the end i'm quite confuse for my everything.

2009-01-28T23:37:00.007+08:00

TO-DO LISTS
~~1. Re-consider my course of studies and re-apply for Poly courses.~~ DECIDED
2. Repair my front brakes caliper(DUE)
~~3. Buy distilled water for coolant~~ DONE! and refill the coolant too!
4. Change new oil seal for rear wheel(DUE)
5. Need to change brake pad?
6. Repair harddisk
7. DIY spare CPU
8. Change 1 X Lcd monitor
9. Sell away spare CPU
10. Decide the tatoos that i wanna engrave on
11. Complete my 2A license
12. Online Business research

GOALS
1. Drive high-end car and be part of the race teams
2. Immigrate to ang mo lifestyles and environments.

2009-01-28T02:08:00.006+08:00

I do read peoples blogs.
When peoples tempt to say they are happy, in fact they all not, are they?
haha, if i'm drunk and i said i am really drunk, in fact i'm seriously drunk. LOLS
The feelings is so high when i am fucking drunk, i'm easily drunk, ha! And i'm so worry of not able to make it home myself if i was soooo drunk everytime.

Last few days went shopping, JJ is a good companion, ha!

Went rounding yesterday, i had a girlfriend that drives. Was quite fun driving together, ha!
Well, another words, it was bored driving with boyfriends because they always sped away from me, LOLS

I wanna change my blogskins, so machiam old like me, no time. LOLS

2009-01-22T17:50:00.006+08:00

Yesterday felt so down, all because of going the wrong direction when i was driving back. God damn traffic jam somemore, and so i was damn late.

Schools is bore. SRZ, at leasts attend the class okay, ha!
(sianz)

Plan will not alway goes with the changes, natural takes course is the best.
Maybe i should learn not to makes anymore plans for myself, haha:)

2009-01-21T02:09:00.003+08:00

Just came back from cineleisure. So shameless, keep coughing out there, weather so cold.
Sick! :(

Review of 2008

2008-12-31T16:43:00.006+08:00

The last day of 2008, Lets rewind back to the head and review year 08. Trying so hard to remember what i have being doing all along because serveral times my head was knock by something so many time, slip disc i guess, sigh.

The last day of 07, and the first day of 08 was spent with girlfriend cindy, at least i'm not alone during that time. Went to watch fireworks near esplanade area together.

Valentines day, remember that i went to have dinner at fish&co.

Birthday celebration was a bored one, took singapore flyer ride, nothing much and special.

Life was bored in 2008, bought a bike, changed to another bike. Got into accident once, was injured because of it. And because of accident, the feeling of going to die, i learnt to treasure something special. And then one of my friend bought 4D of my plate number and win lottery, haha.

Everyday go back base to work, getting boring and boring. Bond with campmates until they ORD, recently so quiet in my area now because alot of friends had left.

In the past, i use to hate and ask why am i in this world, why do u born me and left me in this kind of family, this situtation. But what past is past, i had learnt to live forward(can't be bother!), haha.

Seriously i can't remember the past, those bad and good times, really can't, it's good then. My head hurts alot because of that. So anyway, i can't be bother la, can't remember than don't remember la, forget it better!

Since 2008 is over, 2009 will be a fresh start for me. Better day, better life(but still, life is still a pattern), anyway world is realistic. I will work hard to flirt around, make myself more useful, go more rounding, more chilling, more clubbing, more energtic for night lifes, know more friends(esp girls haha), make my days busy and tired(but seriously when meetup i always feel sleepy, Zzz) and more & more HAPPENINGS. HAHA :DD

Freedom given me alot of chances to do something else, no worries for girlfriend anymore, more self-centrelised person. Well, anyway i CAN'T remember who is my ex-gf anymore. No worries.

Happy'09 SOE!
wishlists: more girlfriends this year:)

2008-12-16T19:25:00.002+08:00

Remember, the end of a relationship isn't the end of the world, and by leaving a relationship that is clearly not working out, you will pave the way for a life that is more fulfilling and rewarding.

I'm glad, and Thank You.
:))

2008-11-08T02:36:00.002+08:00

Here is what my police reports.

On 061108, 5.50pm as i was riding my motorbike,FT***L, along Ang Mo Kio Ave 3 towards Ang Mo Kio Central. As i reached the junction of Ang Mo Kio Ave 3 and Serangoon North Ave 1, the signal was green and i rode crossed the junction. A vehicle, SGE****C, had just made a U-turn toward the direction i was riding before i crossed the junction. The vehicle made the U-turn and was driving in the second lane whilst i was in the first lane. About 20 metres down the road, the vehicle suddenly cut into the first lane without signaling. I was riding in the first lane at the time and as such his right driver's side door collided with my left handle-bar. I was then thrown off my motorbike and landed in front of my motorbike. The driver then stopped his vehicle and came out to assist me.

I was conveyed by ambulance to Tan Tock Seng Hospital, where i was treated for pain in my pelvic area, neck and back. I was given 2 days MC and discharged.

Above mention was what happened to me when i supposed to have some programs to fun after work but WTH~

Sigh, the world is so unfair.

Saggy

2008-11-02T05:29:00.003+08:00

I'm so lack of sleep nowadays. Meeting friends up lates everyday after work and woking up early for work every morning, this is the reason how i spent mine freedom. Just take a look at my face and you will know how depressed my face is due to lack of enough sleeps! So i don't have to worry of rolling here and there in MY OWN BED, hanging over everynight.
GOODNIGHT loves (I'm dead in bed for now).

Do i have a gift from god? Or perhaps somebody else can give one?

2008-10-20T01:13:00.003+08:00

i wish to decide my fate all over again.
ilu, baby.

In the event of my death, please make known to her.

2007-12-21T19:17:00.000+08:00

Very upset, every month got parking summon, LOLS!
Got a $8 dollar fine, very upset for paying such a fucking summon every month, its the 3rd time, which means 3 months!..
:(

2007-12-10T22:21:00.000+08:00

Went to watch THE GOLDEN COMPASS with baby last SATURDAY.
Nice movie, but ending sucks.
LOLS!!

2007-10-26T15:35:00.001+08:00

life is busy, that's what i having now.

babyLOVES.

2007-09-13T00:54:00.000+08:00

Oh, one funny things, the mocca tv ad.

"The bedroom is over there."

"The kitchen is over there."

Haha, very funny. If i'm a girl, i will just look at that guy nipples throughout, so black and big nipples he had, HAHA!

2007-09-13T00:45:00.000+08:00

OMG, earthquarke again. LOLS! Die la.

Back from zouk, tired so when for awhile. Guess what? Free entry every week till next year, LOLS!

2007-09-09T04:18:00.000+08:00

I don't like the memories!

*pressed DELETE*

Life were great nowadays, get to know a few bitchs.

2007-09-06T02:38:00.000+08:00

I hate cindy so much now, she gonna be sorry in future.

p.s: i make you pay back double

2007-09-01T00:12:00.000+08:00

Sick until i am dying soon la.

2007-08-30T23:49:00.000+08:00

Everything goes wrong so badly, peoples were blind. Would you want a boyfriend that brings other girl home and sleep, sex with her, and than he said he still loves her girlfriend badly? I wasn't talking about myself, its about others. And that girlfriend still thinks of being together with that boyfriend whom slept with other girl before. They are so noble to each other that i despises them still. Everything goes worse aftermath.

2007-08-19T20:27:00.001+08:00

Forgive me hard.
ilu

2007-08-18T01:41:00.000+08:00

What is the difference of hiding something and lying? Its still lies. You need to say something to hide and cover which make you lies something. In another words, you need to lie to cover something that you do not want others to know.
Liar = A person who say lies all the times and doesn't admit and said "I WHERE GOT LIE TO YOU!".

Been treated like a stupid person now, I AM SO STUPID!

2007-08-16T20:35:00.000+08:00

What will happen if singapore earthquarke hit 7.9-magnitude? Death increases non-stop as there are so many high-rise buliding? Those live in terrace-houses, bungalow, low-rise estates are in lower risk. LOLS! Impossible la horz.

2007-08-15T02:29:00.000+08:00

I love watching THE SECRET with baby, and than love going out with her although... ...

2007-08-11T17:12:00.000+08:00

C's, a girl, who never admit that she was really wrong, and saying she was wrong, make it even worse.

2007-08-11T14:51:00.000+08:00

Heart being demoralize, nobody knows.

2007-08-10T12:52:00.001+08:00

I think i sent out about 5 resume by now.

2007-08-09T23:35:00.000+08:00

Treasure now or lost more in future? All went wrong now, think i should put down everything and start new afresh.

One lecturer told me to draw something which i likes, i realise i like nothing, so i couldn't draw something. It is killing me before i kill myself. I dislikes drawing now.

Happy 42th National Day, i spent the day at home.

2007-08-02T22:06:00.000+08:00

Woowww, Sindy was in NAFA too, year 2 probably. (:

2007-07-31T22:54:00.000+08:00

Never change, still don't wanna pick up the phone or call back even if the phone shows MISSED CALLS, didn't even bother to reply sms too. I really can't be bother anymore, so i guess whenever i'm free i should go over and have fun, that kind of fun, you know? I tried enough.

2007-07-31T18:15:00.000+08:00

Don't be wishy-washy.

2007-07-27T00:00:00.000+08:00

If destiny decides that i should look the other way, light will shine when all fades.

2007-07-25T01:10:00.000+08:00

Don't expect me to go back to her so simply. Love being granted everynow and then. I ended my unhappy drama. Goodnight.

2007-07-24T00:25:00.001+08:00

LOVE FOR SALES.
Goodnight.

2007-07-23T05:21:00.000+08:00

In this world, is there someone really will let her loves one waiting for his girlfriend the whole night where it is so cold tonight? Its so cold, i was freezing waiting for her there yet she really couldn't bother about me waiting for her downstair her house. I really really really sad, part of my life loving her, tried to be good, give the best to her. On my birthday, 7/7, sitting peacefully together with her(previously we were fighting whatsoever), i suggested, lets treat jeremy doesn't exist anymore and she agree. But yet she is with him now after two weeks passes. Of course i will be unhappy but what could i do? She did told me earlier that she will be meeting him as she said he wanna pass her something and just have dinner and it was for awhile. In the end she was with him the whole night. She had already planned long ago which she kept the other half of the story away from me. She told me she wants to me with me on that special night at ECP. Sigh, my love for her was so strong but does that means i have to close one of my eyes? I won't forget this night which i kept waiting for her to come back to meet me after meeting him which was so cold and windy, i'm fucking freezing. Oh, and jeremy was her ex boyfriend, sigh. I'm a retarded silly boy now as you can see. I guess this is the last time i waited for her the whole freezing night. I guess if i could seal her inside my heart earlier and get her back in some year later, maybe i would feel better? Sigh, all i want is to spend the rest of my life with her. She had forgetten completely what we said after my birthday at ECP. She treats me as take and go thingy, told me she don't want me and puke it out at me just like that. And don't want him is already long ago stuff but she still got the points to say she don't want him, and me too. Sigh, from the way i let her go for meets, till i'm getting unhappy and she let everything goes wrong now. Why can't she listen to me when i'm so worry about her and care about the both for us good. Hell to jesus, why can't you be nice to me enough, and let her be ready enough for us? Sucks. I LOVE HER.

She cried several times in front of me, but still can't feel that she had given up the world enough for me yet, and this part i understand very well about what went wrong. My feelings is so correct.

2007-07-22T20:21:00.000+08:00

She really will do something that will make others so unhappy which that is me.
:(

2007-07-15T04:12:00.000+08:00

Watched MY WIFE IS A GANGSTER 3 with baby on last tuesday at AMK HUB. Worth to watch, not bad.

*You hardly cry in front of me, its hard to see that, why? Would you felt hurt when i cried in front of you last time?

I just wish to see you happy, show me you're happy:)

2007-07-07T16:33:00.001+08:00

Happy 19th Birthday to myself!

2007-07-06T18:34:00.000+08:00

i miss you, till i lose my desire. I'll be fine:)

2007-07-05T04:41:00.001+08:00

Maybe if there's no hope, i'll be better?

2007-07-04T04:00:00.001+08:00

It doesn't worth to celebration anymore, i guess.

2007-07-03T03:48:00.001+08:00

Do you really want me to let you go since i had seal myself with NEVER LET YOU GO, this four words?

2007-07-03T03:37:00.000+08:00

Cindy Koh is too much today, taking me as granted as a idiot now, sigh. My mood for birthday celebration as been ruin, i'll be sadden every year now. Its truly devastating sad and angry. Soon i will kill myself, i'm too tired of living. Girls, come to me, thats the thing she wants me to do.

:(

2007-07-02T00:06:00.001+08:00

Blissful days are always so short.

2007-06-25T01:38:00.000+08:00

Cindy so in love painting her nails so much! :)

2007-06-23T03:47:00.000+08:00

I realise i shouldn't had use part of the blog to convey messages to someone, i had forgetten this is like a diary, mine happiness, mine saddness, etc..

Its been 2 weeks plus with cindy together, i thought i was happy but it wasn't. I'm just happy on the outside, trying to fulfill my inside. Something is going ABIT wrong now. I'm already to the top peak of understanding now. I don't really know do she really love me or just having me to heal herself up. From top to bottom, left to right, why do i still feel she needs a accompanion whom love her so much been beside her. She said she need TIMES, times on letting go, putting the past or whatsoever. Since that guy starts to call cindy up again, I bet that guy gonna touch her heart again and whatsoever that happens before, will happen again. Still, she say she's not ready for me now. Can somebody understands that i love cindy SO MUCH and SO DEEP? What for i try so hard now since its not going any further yet, why not i slack and relax abit now? I hope her heart is NOT GONNA touch by that guy AGAIN!

What the fucks wrong with her, she sent a sms saying, "Don't force me. Don't ask me who call me or msg me. And what contents. Don't be another him." I DIDN'T FORCE HER AT ALL! I DIDN'T EVEN THE FUCKS TO BE ANOTHER HIM TOO! I even reply, "so sorry if you thought i was forcing you." I understand but i'm just not happy the way she thinks. She MEAN ALOT to me, i don't mean alot to her yet, so she won't understand for now. I'm glad she still knows she's selfish. Hmmm, why didn't she stop being selfish since i had done so many things for her? I guess she only do things all for herself. I feel she's not afraid of losing me, so sad, she don't have the sense of losing someone, not afraid that i left. She don't look like she will appreciate me the same as i appreciate her, sigh.

Jesus, do you wanna give me a second chance all the way from the start, so that there won't be any friends conflict, hurts on anybody, saddness on anyone, rumours and question around, and everyone doing the wrong things?

Guess what, i wanna be with her forever, let's DREAM FIRST.
If there's one thing you wants, what would you want me to grant you?

2007-06-22T23:28:00.000+08:00

Anyone here by chance is a god can tell me why am i having headache nowadays?

Guess what, i can learn class 2B now with my dad PERMISSION, and pass my ttt yesterday without sweats since i passed my btt and ftt long ago. Now gonna wait for rtt. I think i need a haircut, bad hair day everyday. -.-

Birthday in few week times, try to pass like normal day better. I wish to say i wanna move out and live alone to my dad. I think that's the reason why i'm having headaches so much.
:)

2007-06-22T00:10:00.001+08:00

Suddenly i feel so stupid and useless. I wanna sleep and NEVER wakes up.

you pushed me away..

2007-06-22T00:01:00.000+08:00

Look at me and tell me, is anyone taking me for granted now?
What am i gonna to do now?

2007-06-18T07:34:00.000+08:00

Hey, are you ready for commitment to me when you asked me to go down with you to help out your parents? Are you ready for to further?

I WONDER..

2007-06-15T01:52:00.000+08:00

I may be feeling a certain sense of anticipation today. My intuition should be very strong right now. And i might even want to try to examine my dreams for some helpful messages. Be aware that there could be a number of things moving in my direction behind the scenes right now.

2007-06-14T01:59:00.001+08:00

haven't been paying enough attention to your own intuition lately, you should have learned by now that that little voice inside you is often right. You could really benefit by letting your intuition help to guide your actions a little more right now.

2007-06-05T00:36:00.000+08:00

Unhappy, the day my elder brother move back, difficulties life ahead now. I can't bother to nag at him now, I'm so speechless, frustrated, damn unhappy about it, making my life so disturbing. There so many other things to talk about but i just couldn't stop myself talking about this problem. I just wish he move back ASAP!

For the last few days, my whole mind was "cindykoh cindykoh cindykoh". Oh My God, i just wish i'm dead now, there's so many problem.

There are no unsolve problem that can't be solve. Only unsolve problem that you don't wanna solve.

Help me

2007-05-31T11:30:00.001+08:00

Stupid, what a dream just now. I'm awake.

2007-05-26T15:42:00.000+08:00

Guess what, i failed my TP few days ago, so unahppy about it. You will feel like giving a slap to the guy beside you that time. I lost 10 points in my first 30 seconds, and he finally kept quiet after giving me 20 points. The tester is the reason why i fail, sucks!

Another point is, you get the previllege when u drive a test car outside, LOLS! I was laughing inside my heart that time.

2007-05-18T01:13:00.000+08:00

At least i know how i feel right now, feel that something, you know? Whatsoever.
Body is aching, been doing exercise, guess what? Its aching inside me too:)
I wanna catch back all my SLEEP!

At least i knew i still care by retarted lady.

2007-05-13T05:02:00.000+08:00

I don't understand why, i just simply couldn't sleep. I accompained cindy to lasalle for her adminssion interview. She was inside so long, making me waiting outside for 2 hours.

I COULDN'T SLEEP WELL, HELP!

2007-05-12T01:24:00.000+08:00

I just wanna rest well, quite upset today.
:(

2007-05-11T06:01:00.000+08:00

"Why didn't you meet her nowaday?", said somebody. I feel like slapping somebody, it was like a idiot asking me idiots question. It kills me.

10 more days for my driving test, low in confidence because of safetly but i have no problem with my driving. Its just the fucking safetly blind spots and amber light, LOLS! Last lesson was fucking wasting my money because of that LAZY instructor. I could had a assessment test that time but he tried to make me said, "i had booked my next lesson before the TP". And so he could had abit slacking and let me drive around so i could do the assesment test on the next lesson, NB~ I'm just fucking unhappy about that instructor. If he had made me take the assessment test, i would stop my worried.

I'm just glad it is coming because of waiting too long, its gonna be a first time pass, I DON'T WANT A RE-TEST.

I can't sleep tonight, sigh.

2007-05-09T01:41:00.000+08:00

Growing with the loss right now, i understand what she's trying to do.
I'm just simply misses her.
I guess she don't want me to do anything either, i fine with it.
One day, with no worries, i will.

Okay, forgotten which date baby hamster was borned. Luck, just one survive, others two was dead. Its a baby boy anyway. It's going meaningless, EVERYTHING.

"you deserved it, look at what you had done."

2007-05-08T00:46:00.000+08:00

Losing a soulmate is truly devastating.

Words alone cannot describe, and should not describe, this kind of loss.

She's telling this, telling me that. Sucks, if she were so cool at it, DEFINE WHAT'S LOVE? I'm talking about CINDYKOH. I feel better if i be away, hell to the core.

*-Smart guy

Realise i gonna waste my 3 years study in NAFA, am i wasting my time? I felt NAFA wasn't my type now out of a sudden, sigh. And look, 2010 to do my NS~

I'm out of my mind now!

2007-05-04T00:19:00.000+08:00

This boy here havn't been able to sleep recently, why?
God knows~

2007-04-28T06:37:00.001+08:00

"I'm sorry, take good care" is what i get in the end. Anyway, it gonna be a torture if we keep on going. I'm disappointed, feel like killing myself.

SRZ, for tommorrow sake, lets forget any unhappiness happened yesterday.

My life still goes on.

Kiss goodbye to my lost faith.

2007-04-22T19:02:00.000+08:00

I decided to pause my life, but you are back to disturb again, so should i try even harder or saying farewell? I decided to try even harder, so please, don't disappoint SRZ life.

2007-02-06T17:37:00.000+08:00

I was so unhappy since last night i got home, sigh. Baby hamster was gone, conclusion, been eaten by their hungry parents, sigh. Receive NS letter, got to report next month, dad so serious and i'm so hack care, he just never listen. And, everyday, every minutes, every seconds, baby are always on my mind. Its been aching for long, sigh. I really felt like crying, things are not going smoothly nowadays, breakingdown. I need to numb myself HARD. All this unhappy happening was cause by only baby, i just couldn't hate you. Why can't i be your soul-mate? I was a happy person in the first place, till the day you came and took away everything from me. Is this the way you are, the kind of person you really is? How i wish i was a kind of anything person, so all this will be gone. (:

2007-02-05T16:05:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, 4th February, a new borned baby hamster. :)

I was cleaning their stupid shitty cage and my younger sister go check up on them and found a baby of theirs. Its whitely blocked me or else i should be able to seen it. But then, why only one baby? How could it be? Can't be eaten ba? Impossibe leh, give birth to one, so good luck? LOLS..

Baby, all i could think about was you, maybe you wasn't my the other half soul-mate. I wish you were. I need you here, by my sides. ):

ilu, baby~

2007-01-21T04:50:00.000+08:00

"i really regret of the starts, that we couldn't hold till in the end", SRZ

2007-01-21T04:37:00.000+08:00

I having headaches nowaday, its really pain, hopes not a tumour, mabye because i couldn't put down something really heavy inside me, sigh. Well, about my car pratical lesson, after 8 more lesson, soon i can book a pratical tests, haha. Actually quite fast la, but then i wish it could be more faster than i could imagine. So, gonna finish my 8 more lessons soon. :)

Reflections of the sweet times we once had..will never be the same again..

2007-01-14T05:33:00.000+08:00

I love benny, i guess. Because he make me smile out of sudden, i really appreciate.

The LORD tell me something, pass mine love to someone who should be more honour, someone who is more up to it. :))

2007-01-12T18:44:00.000+08:00

"How was the last night my baby?"

"Can i have my nric back?"

"You wanna me to report my IC lost is it?"

"Fine! Can't be bothered anymore! Fcuk you."

"Can you please return me my ic. That's no point of you keeping it. If you think keeping my ic will make me stay with you. Or will receive my msg or call everyday...YOU SUCKS MAN. "

"Give me a call back before 11 if you wanna be tgt.if not, forget it(:"

"What's the fcuking matter with you? Can you pick up my call asshole?"

"Are you dead"

"Baby, please. I couldn't sleep. Give me a call back."

"I seriously hate you! You made me worried you for no reason. Jeremy broke off with her gf. Sooner or later I'll be back tgtwith him. If you don't want this to happen, better give me a call back."

"I just thought of this..you got lots of girls to flirt with.you doesn't need me any more.what for i still worried for you.i'm really silly enough.even you dead or alive, i wouldn't care any more.be blessed. Nights"

"You made me worried.sigh"

"I really felt stupid to come find you. "

"I don't want to be tgt. Bye"

"You don't wanna pick up my call again is it."

"I've deleted. Including me in your friends list. Photos. Testi"

"If i say i need you now, will you please call me back. :("

"Why you went to add jiahui? Interested in her?why you sign in my friendster account and gave jeremy testi?why you wanna do all this?ok fine. I say what i want but you choose not to answer me.i hate you.i'm not going back to you.i'm waiting for jeremy. "

"I ask alr is not him."

"I called him up"

"He said it was not him. I'm sleeping.tired alr.btw,i don't wish to see you suffering.think positive.nights "

"I need sleep. I don't think it was me.i don't rem"

"Don't stop trying even myself. You still stand a place in my heart. Goodnight (:"

How could the one i gave my heart to break my heart so badly? Its time to move on, to heal up my wounds. We reached the fate ends, i just one to be left alone, somewhere where nobody knows, where no one could care. I'm really sad, here without you. A slit on the wrist zaps all illusions back to reality. I've learnt it the hard way.

"I don't have enough room to tell you how much i love you with 200 sheets of paper."

p.s: Those boys are nice people, at least they don't hurt girls.